today was like most other days for a portrait photographer. it started off the same…Johnny up first, getting ready for work… Abby (our bulldog) up next, needing to go outside…then the clock goes off for me to get up (remind me to tell you what kind of music Johnny has it set to – he knows EXACTLY what will get me out of bed)…then we wake Jesse so he can get ready for school. now, as I said, this morning went just like normal, until we were sitting at the table eating breakfast. yep, it went screwy just that early. Jesse told a lie (all being said, it wasn’t a big one or anything) but it was still a HUGE stretch of the truth. for some reason it really got to me. i know kids are normal and at this stage in his life these things are going to occur. but it REALLY got to me. I fussed at him a minute and expressed my disapproval, and then I did it again, and again. finally the truth dawned on me as to why I was SO upset with him…it is because I used to do the exact same thing, and i know why i did it. i embellished the truth of things, i told lies, i did it all, but i did it because i felt like no one would know i existed if i didn’t have some grandiose story to tell about me and what my days and happenings were like. i wanted people, especially grown ups to be in awe of me. i tried to figure out how to explain to Jesse where that sorta thing can lead you later in life…you know, when you have to tell another lie to cover the exaggeration that you have already spoken. in tears i tried to explain to him that i lied ALL THE TIME until i was like 29 years old. i begged him to stop now before he spends his whole life covering up one lie after another. i don’t know if i got through to him, i won’t know until later in life probably. but i pray that i did.
so what does this have to do with the title of this post – FALLING IN LOVE WITH LIFE – i’m getting to that. after such a rough and tearful morning i couldn’t concentrate enough to get client’s images finished. then i started bemoaning the fact that i was tired of sitting in the house, in front of the computer, touching up images. i mean…where did the fun of photography go to? where did i lose it? i decided to take things into hand and rediscover what i love about photography.
i took my original DSLR, the first one I ever had, the one that i built my business with, the one that is a not so high priced, consumer camera. the rebel xti. i still love this camera! it still feels good in my hand, it still works just like it use to. why did i take it instead of my Canon 5D…because i wasn’t 100% sure i wouldn’t flip the kayak and go for a swim. that being said, i was willing to sacrifice the xti, but not the 5D. now that is true love! anyways…i took it and went KAYAKING! yep, i put the yak (Old Town Castine) in at the end of our dock and headed out. the tide was almost at the high point and I knew i only had a short time or i would be paddling back against the current. there are only a few words to describe how i feel when i am in my yak, and have my camera…peaceful, bold, deep, one, centered.
i FELL IN LOVE WITH LIFE once again
1. the launching place
2. and i start out
3. my favorite tree on the creek, there weren’t many
4. and then the waters opened up
5. questioning my navigational abilities at this point – which way should i go?
6. while pondering this the wind blew me into the marsh grass…lovely how nice it looks from eye level
7. i was trapped, but it gave me a moment to get the camera and stuff situated before i headed on
8. at this point i realized the tide was going out and that i needed to be headed back
9. i was finally comfortable enough to pull my legs out of the kayak while i paddled. not easy to do mind you, but so relaxing!
10. our dock and my jeep are in view, i am almost back.
Thank you Lord for letting me see, once again, why you gave me a love for life, nature, water, and most of all , the moment in time that i was able to capture for all eternity.