Those are the words he said when I gave him that questioning look. You know, the look that says, “why aren’t you looking at the preacher?” You see, it is Sunday morning and the preacher is preaching up a storm. A real “Fire and Brimstone” message. If you were raised in a pentecostal church as I was, you will know exactly what I am talking about. My husband is not one to take his attention off of the Preacher for almost the whole service. He is actually distracted when those that sit in front of us talk to each other, or even if they look around. So not paying attention is a big ‘no-no’.
But this morning I noticed out of the corner of my eye that he has his head down, and is playing with his tie. NOT normal for my man! So I look at him and nudge him with that questioning look. He just says softly…”there’s a tear on my tie.” Tears are not a strange thing for this man. I am sure it has happened many times before, but today for some odd reason, those words touch the very depths of my heart. I realize with astounding awareness that I have been so favored by God that He would bless my life with this man. Johnny and I have our ups and downs, but I also realize that there are so many more ups than downs, and that our downs are constituted with one of us being strong for the other. Something else that came to mind was the vow we made to each other and God when we decided to marry…that our marriage would only be worth doing if we could and would honor God with the union. For us that meant living a Christian life in our everyday walk. Not an easy task, and one that we have failed at often…but one that we still remind each other of at odd times. Like when he is getting aggravated that someone is on his bumper on an open highway, or when he wants to turn a blind eye to the family down the street that has a messed up family situation. And he has to remind me at odd times as well. Like when I wake up really pissed off becasue of a bad dream I had about him and take it out on everyone else, or when I don’t want to go in to volunteer at the school when I told them I would. Then there are the times that neither he nor I feel like getting up early on Sunday to get ready and drive 45 minutes to church. We look at one another and lift our eyebrows, say “wellllll?” and at the same time we both throw our legs and feet off the bed and stumble downstairs. It is all about making our marriage a glory to our Father in heaven.
So that is the reason when he said, “there’s a tear on my tie”, that my heart did one of those flips it does when I look at him still, and why tears whelmed up in my eyes too. He reaches out and takes my hand and gives it those 3 little squeezes that is our code for “I love you”. Silently I say a prayer of thanksgiving for this man that God has fashioned for me.